Highlander remake

Oh. My. God.

This could be bad...

Never Eat Alone

Last week, I had my first pivotal experience in business and social networking. It all just clicked .

A coworker came to the warehouse and asked me if I could spare a few boxes. Her roommate had put her in a difficult spot and she had little time or choice to move. Of course I agreed to help. We receive hundreds and hundreds of boxes a week, it's not like the bookstore can't spare some. Most are just recycled anyway.

Plus, having also experienced a sudden need to vacate a house (that or live without utilities for the rest of the month, eek!) and find a new place to live on short notice, I offered to put her in touch with a housing agent I had become acquainted with. Within a few minutes, I had them on the phone together and my coworker had a promising lead for a new place to live.

In the future, my coworker, who has worked in the music industry for most of her life, may become a valuable resource to my friend (want a back-stage pass to your favorite band's concert? Ask the person that knows the band!). Or vice versa, my coworker my know someone that needs a new place to live and offer to call on this housing agent.

Or, they may never talk again.

The point is to bring people together, as described in the book Never Eat Alone. Keith Ferrazzi describes his secrets of success, building it one relationship at a time. While some build their careers through Networking, Keith Ferrazzi has built his career AS a Networker. He is known as the guy who knows everyone, able to pool the right resources with the right people.

How did he achieve this?

Years ago, a bit younger and a lot less successful, Keith came to his boss and said, "I want to make it to the top. I want to be a great leader. I have what it takes. How do I make it happen?"

Keith's boss asked him to describe why he thought he had what it takes. So, Keith described all of his accomplishments. His boss listened, then gave the response that changed Keith's life.

"You've described to me all the things YOU have done. That makes you a great worker. But if you want to be a great leader, you need to build teams. You need to bring people together."

Keith took the advice to heart in what may be a controversial act, blurring the lines between friendships and business relationships. Everyone becomes a potential asset to gain from, offer to, or bridge a connection between.

Some of his ideas seem counter-intuitive, such as Pinging, a process that builds relationships one small email or phone call at a time instead of one long meeting at a time, or Managing the Gatekeeper, where he insists a secretary may be the most important person you meet.

His style, like the chapters in this book, is short and to the point, but all the more effective because of it. Thanks in part to his coauthor, Fortune Small Business editor Raz, Ferrazzi's book becomes an example of Networking in action, a well-written, anecdotal account of a style anyone can employ.

Well, that depends. Do you masturbate a lot?

I discovered an odd bump on my hand. My hands have been through some wear and tear, and the internet informed me this thing could be latent scar tissue.

Seems like ever since I opted for medical insurance, I use it more and more often. So, rather than sit around wondering what this thing was, if indeed it was scar tissue or some new form of cancer they could name after me, I went to the local clinic.

The doc took a look and said, "Yeah, that's a wart."

I see. "Listen," I said. "I've never had a wart before. Is it possible to transfer one to the rest of my body?"

"Well, that depends. Do you masturbate a lot?"

Not since they replaced Jennifer Connelly in the new Hulk movie. Keep Ed Norton, he'll rock. But though I love Liv Tyler, Jen has been my gal since Labyrinth.

Then again, this guy can't seem to keep his hands off himself, and look who he's sitting with.

The doc said it could take a while, up to 3 years, to disappear on its own, unless I opted for the liquid nitro treatment.

A nurse brought in a styrofoam cup of liquid nitro. The doctor scraped as much of my hand away with an exacto knife as possible, then grabbed a q-tip, dipped it into the nitro, and dug it deep into my hand.

I have never felt such an odd, invading sense of pain.

To top it off, while the doc worked on me, the liquid nitro began to eat through the cup!

"Oh, heh," he said. "Guess that means it's time to stop."

I was notified by my Hobbit that I was tagged in her blog, so now I have to complete a mem (whatsit?).

The rules are:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

The nearest book was Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Exile.

Booster finally sat again and fixed a glare on Corran. "But you didn't bring my grandchildren."

Corran folded his arms.

WTF?! I am not smart enough to know how that relates to my life, so I'll offer a 2nd selection from Harrington on Cash Games, Volume II that I think more easily translates.

There's a small chance that Player D has been bluffing the whole way and is now prepared to fire a third barrel on the river. But that's a really long shot. Player C has to worry that any bluff on his part will just get called by Player D.

Clearly I am player D, as anytime someone tries to bluff me, in life or cards, I call and cry hah! caught you! Funny thing is how often they show up with the nuts.

Tags to come later. Off to work!

Superman doesn't fly as high as hype

Think back to that day you viewed Superman: the Movie; that day when Christopher Reeve donned those famous red, yellow, and blue tights and made us believe a man could fly.

For years, I wished I could soar through the sky. I dreamed I could break free of gravity to twist and turn with the freedom of Superman.

Finally, that day has come for us all.

And to tell you the truth, it's not nearly as fun as it looks.

Six Flags over Georgia opened one of their latest attractions with the delight of an architect unveiling his new city. Superman: Ultimate Flight awaited us in a faux Metropolis, seen in the distance on the right.

At the entrance, we passed a delightful shop of toys and plush dolls dedicated to the most popular superheroes of today: Superman, Spiderman, Kung Fu Panda, and Captain Jack Sparrow (wtf?).

But I said to hell with the toys, those can wait 'till later, I'm ready to fly!

Thanks to Hobbit's clever idea to arrive at opening, there were NO lines. We went straight up the long walkway, past several pinups of Superman's friends, foes, and allies, and to the ride. Never has my inner geek felt more excited than when the seats pulled my feet off the ground and held me vertical. I laughed at those cautious fools around me, holding on tight to their seats. No, I let go and held my hands out, already imagining what it would be like to take flight.

But after the first drop, the ride held too many twists and turns and was over far too quickly. Most coasters at Six Flags average 1 minute. This one barely clocks half a minute. Granted, we flew in the middle of the rows, so perhaps this, like many coasters, can only offer the full benefit if you sit in the front row. There weren't enough high rises and steep falls for me to feel like I was flying. Instead, I felt jostled about, as though if I was flying well, I had no control over it.

Afterwards, we went on a couple more coasters we had decided MUST come first while the lines were short. Our first long line came without warning. One coaster had no line, the next, at the Goliath, made us wait almost 2 hours. But I assure you, it was worth it. The first drop is the highest in the park, so high you can see the entire landscape before screaming as you fall down a slope so steep it looks sheer.

Next we went to Batman! As you can see, to get to this ride the owners of Six Flags think it is necessary to torture you. They pack as many people as possible into a room that APPEARS to lead to the ride, but really circles back around to the other side of the building, then into a hidden building, before finally letting you see your prize.

The Goliath and the Batman ride take the crown as kings of the park. The ride is designed to propel you at rocket speeds through the coaster course as though you are on a high-speed chase in the Batmobile.

I was just yelling to Hobbit how great it would be to have a Batmobile of our own when, what-ho!, I saw a Batmobile just waiting for us, its owners, heh, distracted by what no man can resist, an Asian woman!

Or so I thought. They did not take too kindly to me stealing their beloved Batmobile.

Luckily, my lady-friend brought her Bat-Befriender. We sprayed some on and became instant friends, inducted as honorary crime-fighters.

The day went on with us riding several more coasters, including Hobbit's favorites: anything that gets you soaking wet.

In all, we spent 11 hours at the park.

If you are planning your own trip, please take these few hints with you.

1) DO NOT park on Six Flags or at the parking lots directly by the park. They charge you between $15 and $20. Even local venues 1 block away are wise to tourists and charge you at least $10. We parked 2 blocks away at a hotel where we were charged a paltry $5.

2) Arrive early.

3) Prioritize what rides you want to go on without a wait. If you reach these rides between 10:00 and 11:00 AM, you will have next to no wait.

4) Decide right now if you want a Flash Pass, an add-on to your ticket thanks to the scarlet speedster that allows you to bypass the long line and often go straight to the front. It's about $40 more, but unless you want to wait 2 hours for a ride, you should consider it a wise investment.

5) Stay all day. For the first and last 2 hours the park was open, lines were very short, so you do yourself a service to be there from open to close.

Otherwise, we spent Friday traveling around Athens to find an apartment. I am happy to say we found one. Housing in Athens is ridiculously cheap! I am in negotiations to solidify where I will work, but with housing set it is almost certain I will move early June.

Candlebox rocks

This weekend I went to the Miller Lite Crawfish Boil, a stapel of my home town. It's easy to forget I live in Mississippi when I don't go to many social events, but here I saw redneck culture in full bloom. A lot of big music acts never come to Mississippi, and when they do they rarely return, thanks to such memorable acts like the crowd throwing beer bottles at Collective Soul.

So when a band the stuff of grunge legend came to town, I called up a friend and went.

Candlebox originated almost two decades ago in Seattle. They made their mark in the 90s at the height of grunge with songs like Far Behind, Change, You, and Cover Me.

Then Lead singer Kevin Martin departed from Candlebox for several years, producing mega-catchy, softer songs such as Sometimes.

All the while fans stayed with him, wondering when, not if, the band would reunite.

That day has come. They outshined every band that Saturday, playing a longer setlist than any other at the festival. Candlebox maintained the energy of its youth, and Kevin Martin somehow elevated his high-pitched screams to soulful perfection.

They played everything, including songs from their new album, Into the Sun (due out July 22, 2008). The new songs sounded so good I listened, trying to remember what album they came from, only to have Kevin Martin conclude saying the songs would be available on their new album.

Halfway into the set, Kevin Martin surprised us all taking an acoustic guitar to center stage and launching into Sometimes, the hit from his solo career.

The wind better blow harder, because this Candlebox is burning harder than ever.

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I gave up my cat!

A couple of years ago, a dark black kitten showed up at our doorstep. Like most pre-teen women these days, she came to us fully developed and pregnant. Whether or not we wanted her to stay was irrelevant. She set up house beneath our porch and gave birth.

We gave away all of the kittens except one, the scrawniest, weakest runt of the litter. Unfortunately, he died soon after, but that is another story.

She had another name, Jetee, but after seeing her kittens I always thought of her as Momma.

We could all take a lesson in confidence from Momma. If she didn't feel like moving out of the street, she would stare down an oncoming car until it stopped. The car always obliged.

Well, when I left the old apartment my brother and I agreed Hobbit and I could take Momma when she and I moved. Until that time, he would take care of her.

But recently, he sent me a message saying he could not find her. Horrors!!!!!!

Then he sent me a message saying he found her staying with the family next door. They wanted very much to keep her if I would let them.

Again, horrors I say, horrors!!!

I spent the next day mulling over the decision. I love that cat and her unconditional affection. But after discussing it with Hobbit, she informed me most apartments in Athens will not allow for an inside pet without a huge deposit, and most will not allow for an outside pet at all due to health code violations (WTF?!).

I would pay to keep her inside, but momma is definitely an inside cat. She needs to be able to crouch next to a tree, wait for a squirrel to come close so she can grab it and play with it... only to rip its head off when she tires of it.

To this family, I give Momma. I offer this youtube video link as an ode to her.

You know you're a degenerate gambler when...

As you may know from a previous post, I love to play poker. Earlier this year, Gamemaster and I took a trip to Tunica for some action, where I experienced slots, three-card poker, and some of the finest buffets you can eat at! I spent a total of $120, all stemming from a tournament entry fee, $20 at the slots (yuck), and several buffets.

So today, I heard a guy I work with loves to go to the casino every week. Every week? I had to find him and know more.

When I asked how sick a degenerate gambler he was, he revealed:

He is a member of the Beau Rivage gamblers club. Every time he goes there, they give him a near penthouse quality suite, free meals, free tickets to any show, and $200 to play with. But how did he become such a revered, honored member of this esteemed club of degens?

He wanted to know, too. So he asked the cashier to pull up his membership numbers for last year.

He gambled and lost $234,000 over the last year.

Luckily, he won $233,000 :)

You can read some sick gambling stories here, by the man who has been gambling and winning longer than most of us have been alive: Doyle Brunson.

I'll tell you the truth....... I am Iron Man.

After an entertaining but disappointing string of comic book films, Iron Man lands with the solid THUD of success!

Most awesome of all is a quote from the film you will say to everyone. You can use it in any situation.

"I'll tell you the truth... I am Iron Man."

If you haven't seen this, or plan on seeing it again (I will), stay until after the credits to see a scene that teases what the next film will be about. It includes a new character by our favorite badass actor. Who and who? Well, I'll hint by guessing the dialogue from a scene in the sequel.

"Hey, woman! Get me my eye-badge!"

"Well, which one is it?!"

"It's the one that says BAD MOTHER*$@$&!!!"

Move towards pain

Listening to an audio of a Tyler Duren conference, I heard him say most men are living their lives with one goal: to avoid pain. But to advance as a human being, you must choose happiness and accept the pain that comes with it. He also states many men fear apologizing will sacrifice their place of power. These two concepts speak to my thoughts on my brother.

It hurts to maintain distance from my brother, but over the last couple of years our relationship has become more and more unhealthy. Only after I developed enough of my own identity was I able to recognize this. Until then, I felt so much admiration for who he was that the thought of disapproving of him was unthinkable. Disapprove? Hell, whoever he was, I wanted to be.

So imagine my shock when I realized a hypothesis that continues to seem solidified: he feels a desperate need for approval and power, so much so that he is willing to maintain the sense of approval and avoid the feeling of disapproval at a high cost.

In the book The Manipulative Man, Dorothy Mccoy says the manipulative man, often a narcissist, is a charming and seemingly generous, adventurous person. But try to focus on his flaws and he expresses his (come on, or her) need for power and approval by either passive aggressive manipulation or direct intimidation. At most, you will hear a vague acceptance of some error, but rarely, if ever, will they admit something major. It's not in their nature to share someone else's reality, to even agree to disagree when the perception of the positive character so vital to their reality comes into question. Instead, they manipulate the discussion, sometimes to your faults instead. Often they side-step the issue without ever addressing your concerns. When that doesn't work, they switch to plan B, intimidation, alternating between the two.

I remember my own behavior in the last few years, especially after I accepted my first management position, and see some startling parallels with her analysis and myself. I remember thinking about the clichéd rush of power, how silly people are to lose their grasp on reality, but only now look back at realize how far out of touch I had become. I think I've been lucky enough to undergo some humbling experiences later on that slapped me back into a more stable reality.

Indeed, one reason I need to distance myself from my brother is to distance myself from this behavior. Experiencing the pain of the other side, I do not want to fall back into it. The journey to supercede my ego is difficult but powerful and one I enjoy sharing.

To maintain my closeness with my brother required me to offer him only support, and as described above, why wouldn't I? The thought of directly disagreeing with him was not possible. My reality, insecure as I was (and to be honest, still am), could not allow for such an event.

The journey to my own identity began full force when I moved to Hattiesburg several years ago, gasp, a full 2 hours away! Minor though the distance seems now, the situation forced me to grow into my own person. Since then, I've found things to disagree with, and the conversations, minor or significant, have gone much as is described above, with one caveat.

If the conversation remained on subjects that had nothing to do with him, or at least did not call it into question, we could have a full blown discussion.

If the conversation turned to question a personal issue involving him, for a long time I often encountered manipulation. We rarely, as poker players say, WENT DEEP to address how he could have been at fault. We examined the issue and brought out other details, either pointing out where I needed clarification, or latching onto any relevant fault of mine and focusing the conversation to that instead. This fault could be anything, including minor semantics.

More than once I recall thinking a conversation indeed had opened the door for growth, only to realize the conversation never addressed my specific concerns. In a particular conversation, we revealed I could help matters if I would do everything I could to first convince him I am sorry. Only then could he feel emotionally ready to satisfy any concern of mine.

Well, I've done that for a while, increasingly less, and at this point I would feel like I had to grovel just to make any headway with him.

Back then, I assumed the blame for not stepping up to give details and insist on specific answers. It is our responsibility to communicate our concerns. Otherwise, we can not expect someone to ever know what we want.

So what happened when I felt confident enough to voice my concerns? I encountered the full force of a person I believe is addicted to approval and power. The manipulative ploys felt frustrating, and the intimidation tactics felt brutal.

Now I think the important issue is not in the details. It's in the ability to discuss, even if in the end you do not agree. It's fun to be right, but it betrays a deep insecurity if you are unable to admit you are not, even if you think you are.

In another lesson, Tyler Durden offer several methods to deflect or plow through shit-tests, ploys meant to determine the depth of your character and, above all, if you are congruent with the image you present. The danger, Tyler states, is lacking calibration. Suddenly, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE becomes a shit-test, and unfortunately you stop addressing legitimate concerns with any response except to plow plow plow.

To move forward with my life, I decided to distance myself from him and the potential for abuse. Some people close to me have urged me for a quick reconciliation, but as I've stated before, I don't believe that's possible. They hint it would be awful to go for days, months, years, and not have this relationship. How could I think I could cut him off? We don't get to choose who our family is.

Agreed, but I also think we do not choose which relationships go sour. I do my best to have a healthy relationship and influence it to grow more-so. Unfortunately, this relationship has turned toxic. I want to one day have a healthy relationship with my brother. A quick way to prevent us from having a healthy relationship would be to accept it in its toxic state and interact as though nothing was wrong, referred to as dual enabling. As awful as it is to distance myself from him, I would feel worse if I let myself continue to live with this destructive, painful relationship. Separating us is the best way I can see to allow for the possibility we can one day be close again.